true
by Divy
Summary: It's finally finished! This fic now contains 1-true, 2-tell, AND 3-turn! Angsty kind of romance involving Ginny, Harry and Hermione, but it's not what you think. Rated R- to be safe- some sensitive subject matter. Please r/r, and be honest.
1. true

disclaimer: I own none of this (excepting plot); J.K. Rowling does.

A/N: This fic contains sensitive subject matter. I do not wish to reveal exactly what, as I feel this will compromise the story itself. If you find that you are offended, DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ THIS. Again, please r/r. Flames based on the quality and style of my writing are welcome. Thank you for reading.

true

Ginny lay on her bed in her bedroom in the Burrow. Being the youngest meant that she was assigned the smallest room. She didn't mind much. Sitting in this tiny room with its soft carpeting and worn pink comforter put her at ease. As much as she had enjoyed being away at school for the past four years, there was nothing like the familiarity of home. Since she had only spent the summers there since she was eleven years old, she hadn't changed much about the decor. A pile of stuffed animals sat on the dresser, and the faded lavender paint on the walls was beginning to peel. She sometimes felt as though she had outgrown the room, but could never bring herself to change anything. It represented a part of her youth that was so far behind her, she was afraid to get rid of anything lest she forget how it felt to be so young and innocent, so free of worries.

There was a knock on the door. Ginny covered her head with a pillow, not quite prepared to face reality.

"Ginny, it's me," Ron's voice called through the door, "Can I come in?"

Ginny considered for a moment. "'Kay." she said, her voice muffled. She heard the door open, then felt the bed sag at her feet as Ron sat down.

"They're going to be here soon. I thought you'd want to come down."

"I will," Ginny sighed, "eventually."

Ron put a hand on her ankle and shook it gently. "Gin, you're not over this, are you?"

Ginny lifted the pillow slightly off her face. "What do you think, Ron?" Ron shrugged, but Ginny saw the expression on his face and knew exactly what he thought. "I had plenty of time to deal with this all last year when they were dating. I'm going to be fine."

Ron looked at her sceptically. "Then why are you up here playing ostrich?"

"I'm _trying_ to get some peace and quiet before we have two more people staying in this already overstuffed house. Really, Ron, I don't know why you're so worried about me."

"Last year you cried for a week when Harry asked Hermione out. I don't want you to set yourself up to be hurt again."

"I wasn't prepared, Ron. Hermione and I were good friends..._are_ good friends. I thought she knew how I felt, I didn't think she'd say yes." Ginny let the pillow fall over her face again.

"You _thought_ that she knew, but you didn't tell her. You didn't tell either of them that they hurt you. They both think that you're happy for them."

"I am happy," Ginny insisted, moving the pillow so that he could hear her, but still covering her eyes. "They're in love , and I'm not going to stand between them because of a sillycrush. I'll be fine."

"Okay Gin, but if you need to talk..."

"I know Ron. I won't need to, but I know." Ginny would never admit it, but she appreciated that Ron had always been there for her.

Mrs. Weasley's voice magically interrupted them, "Ron, Ginny, they're here."

"Coming Mum." Ron replied, "Are you coming, Ginny?"

"In a minute."

Ron patted her leg reassuringly, then left. Ginny lay still for a moment. Her heart was racing, and she heard her pulse roaring in her ears. _Why am I nervous_, she thought, _We're just friends, that's all._ She felt thoroughly unconvinced. _Damn it Ron, why do you always have to be right?_

***

Ginny made it downstairs just before dinner. Mrs. Weasley shot her a concerned glance, as did Ron, but for a completely different reason.

"Ginny, dear, are you feeling all right? You look tired." Mrs. Weasley walked over to her daughter and started feeling her head and neck.

"_Mum_, I'm fine." Ginny wriggled away and walked over to Harry and Hermione, who were sitting together at the kitchen table. Hermione got up first to give her a hug.

"Gin, it's good to see you," Hermione said warmly, "Where've you been? We've been waiting for you."

"I was just...in the middle of something," Ginny replied, hugging Hermione back, but not lingering too long. 

"Hi Ginny." Harry gave her a considerably more strained hug.

"Well, dinner's almost ready, so come have a seat." Mrs. Weasley waved her wand at a pot of bubbling liquid and it slowed to a simmer. "It's just the five of us tonight, so eat lots. The Ministry's being working poor Arthur like a dog lately, and I don't know what Fred and George are up to." Mrs. Weasley directed a ladle to pour out bowls of stew for everyone.

Ginny glanced across the table at Harry and Hermione. She was smiling widely at him. He kissed her on the cheek and Ginny drew in a sharp breath, quickly occupying herself with straightening her cutlery. Ron nudged her gently with his elbow. She shook her head at him. "Don't start," she hissed.

Dinner conversation was hardly lacking, despite Ginny's silence. Mrs. Weasley was asking Hermione about her summer, and Harry and Ron were deciding how they would spend the last three weeks of their vacation. Ginny felt she had very little to contribute, and her mind had begun to drift. She glanced surreptitiously at Harry and Hermione several times. She saw them holding hands under the table. They laughed with unnecessary enthusiasm at each other's comments. At one point Hermione caught Ginny's eye, and Ginny realised she had been staring. The look in Hermione's eyes was unreadable, but Ginny decided it was hovering somewhere between pity and possessiveness. Ginny avoided looking at anyone for the duration of the meal, staring instead at her lap. It wasn't until dessert that she heard her name mentioned, and she jumped with a start. 

"S-sorry, what?" she sputtered, quite unsure who had spoken.

"I was just wondering what you've been up to this summer." Harry repeated.

"Work.Um, I have a lot of homework, and...I've been thinking a lot, about what I want to do after school. But that's it. Pretty dull." Ginny shifted nervously while she spoke. She was used to being shy around Harry, but she felt as if everyone at the table was staring at her, boring holes into her soul. She felt terribly vulnerable, naked even, as though her emotions were clear to the world. "Boy, I'm tired" she yawned exaggeratedly and pushed her chair away from the table. "If no one minds, I'm going to turn in early."

"I think I will to," Hermione agreed. "It's been a long day." 

"Let us help with your bags," Ron said, lifting Hermione's trunk with his wand. Harry carried his own as they headed up the stairs to their bedrooms. 

Hermione thanked Mrs Weasley and leaned over to hug her goodnight before heading upstairs herself.

Mrs. Weasley put out a hand to stop Ginny from following after Hermione. "Ginny, is something bothering you?"

"It's nothing Mum. Really, I'm just tired." Ginny lied.

"Is this about Harry? Because I think..."

"It's not Harry, Mum," Ginny interrupted, now genuinely tired, and not interested in discussing the matter with her mother, "I'm fine. Trust me, okay."

Mrs. Weasleynodded and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek. "If you need to talk, honey, I'm here for you."

"Okay Mum, goodnight." Ginny headed up the stairs. _Why does everyone think I need to talk? What's wrong with not talking?_

When Ginny opened her bedroom door, Hermione was sitting on the cot that had been set up for her. She was surprised to see her, having momentarily forgotten that she had offered to share her room.

"Hi," she mumbled, and headed to the wardrobe to put on her bed clothes.

"Ginny, come here for a minute," Hermione patted the bed next to her. Ginny hesitated, eyeing Hermione suspiciously.

"If you're going to ask me what's wrong, you're wasting you're breath," Ginny snapped, "I-am-fine, okay?"

"You're lying. I have never seen anyone further from fine." Ginny shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but Hermione didn't buy it, "You can't even look at me, can you?"

Ginny _had _been avoiding Hermione's gaze. She lifted her head to stare into Hermione's eyes, and was shocked, but oddly touched, to find compassion there. She had been so angry, she hadn't considered that Hermione wasn't acting intentionally to hurt her. Ginny sat heavily on the bed, her legs no longer able to support her. Suddenly, she began to speak, feeling as though her heart had made a decision without consulting her brain.

"Hermione, can you be completely honest with me?" Ginny asked in barely a whisper.

Hermione nodded, "Of course, Gin. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Is he the one? "

Hermione suddenly averted Ginny's eyes. "Please, Gin. I can't..."

"You said you'd be honest. Do you love him? "

"Is this going to make it easier? If I say no, you'll just cling to the hope that you have a chance with him, right?"

"I need to know, Hermione."

Hermione shut her eyes and sighed deeply. She pressed her hands to the sides of her face, and Ginny saw that they were shaking. "Ginny, the truth is that I don't know. He might be the one, he might not. But I've never been in love before. How am I supposed to know if I am now?"

"If it were love," Ginny muttered, "you'd know." 

"Well, I _don't_, okay? But my not knowing doesn't mean that he loves you, and it doesn't mean that you love him," Hermione stood over Ginny, adopting a patronising tone, "There is a long way between real love and this little crush, this infatuation you have with Harry."

"You don't understand" Ginny said desperately, standing so that they were nose to nose.

"What are you trying to say? Do you actually think that you're in love with Harry?"

"NO!" The windows of Ginny's bedroom rattled with the force of her cry, "No, Hermione! I don't think I'm in love with him. I never thought that I was in love with him!"

Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion. "What....then what...?"

"It was _never_ him, Hermione, it was _you_! Oh God, it's always been you," Tears spilled down Ginny's cheeks, "I...I love _you_." Ginny's voice had fallen to a bare whisper. Her breath came in quick, ragged gasps, and she reached for support as a wave of dizziness overcame her. Hermione grabbed Ginny's arms and guided her to the floor. Ginny knelt, trying in vain to stop shaking. Hermione wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, absently rocking back and forth as Ginny sobbed.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered, "Shh, Gin, honey, I'm so sorry."

"It hurts Hermione. It hurts like I'm dying, and it's the most terrible and wonderful pain I've ever felt."

"I know it does, Ginny. I shouldn't have said what I did. Please, I never meant to hurt you." Hermione kissed Ginny gently on the cheek, "Honey, you should have told me."

"Why?" Ginny choked, "How would that have changed anything? What would you have done?"

Ginny felt a gentle pressure against her lips. She pulled away, but felt Hermione's hand on the back of her head urging her forward, her other hand lightly stroking her cheek. Ginny remained still, not wanting to risk waking herself, should this be a dream. Hermione's lips moved along Ginny's jaw-line, kissing away the salt-tears, her fingers raking through Ginny's hair. Ginny drew in a sharp breath, biting her lip. She felt hot breath against her neck, soft hands cupping her chin, the deep ache in her heart fading slightly, though still making it's presence known. Ginny stifled a sob. She laid her head on Hermione's shoulder, wrapped her arms around in a tight embrace and sighed shakily. They sat for a moment in nearly perfect silence, only their breaths making any sound.

"Are you okay?"

Ginny shrugged, "What are you thinking?"

Hermione paused, "I think I understand. It's starting to make sense now."

"And how does it feel?"

"It feels right. Nothing has ever felt this _right_ before," Hermione pulled Ginny up and looked into her eyes, "You said that if it were, I'd know," She pressed her forehead against Ginny's, "Well, I know. I feel like it's the only thing I've ever known."

Ginny gave Hermione a chaste little kiss, her lips widening into a reluctant smile. Her heart ached less. She lay down and felt Hermione's arms curl around her and she took her hand. Her consciousness slowly faded, and she slept, Hermione's fingers entwined in her own.


	2. tell

disclaimer: I own none of this (excepting plot); J.K. Rowling does.

A/N: If you haven't read "true", the first part of this story, you should for continuity's sake. If you have read it, then you know that this is f/f SLASH. If you do not approve, DO NOT READ THIS. Again, please r/r. Flames based on the quality and style of my writing are welcome. Those rooted in homophobia are NOT. Thank you for reading. 

tell

The sun shone brightly though Ginny's bedroom window, illuminating the fiery red hair that spread across her pillow. Her pale, freckled skin was slightly tearstained, and her eyes were swollen, and she was beautiful. Hermione kissed her own fingers, then gently pressed them against Ginny's cheek. Ginny stirred, a smile spreading across her lips. "G'morning," she whispered, turning over and burying her face in Hermione's neck. She was clinging tightly to sleepiness, not terribly eager to face the morning.

"Ginny, it's late. We really should get up," Hermione said, her reasonable old self showing.

Ginny murmured something that sounded remarkably like trollish, then looked up at Hermione, pouting.

"Please, don't make me. I don't think I can face this yet. As soon as we go down there, we'll have to tell Harry, and then all hell will break loose." 

Hermione had actually forgotten about Harry. Forgotten that twelve hours ago she had thought that she might be in love with him. All night Ginny had occupied her every thought, and now she was forced into reality with the realisation that she had betrayed Harry. "We don't have to tell him right away, do we?" Hermione failed to conceal her anxiety.

"No, _we_ don't have to tell him, _you_ do. We can't just pretend that nothing happened." Ginny raised her eyebrows, as Hermione looked away guiltily. "Hermi, we _can't_. It's wrong, and it's not fair to Harry. Or to me."

"I know, Gin. I promise I'll tell him. I just need a little time, okay?" Hermione pressed her forehead against Ginny's, looking straight into her eyes. "You know this is what I want, right?"

"I know. But he needs to know too."

Hermione nodded resignedly. Ginny got out of bed and headed towards the door, pulling a dressing gown over her night shirt. She glanced at Hermione as she left, the distress clear in her blue eyes. Now alone, Hermione held her face in her hands, groaning softly. She had to tell Harry as soon as possible, but once she told him, it could be the end of their friendship as well as their relationship. She knew that she couldn't bear losing him completely. Yet by not telling him, she was risking her relationship with Ginny. Her mind was spinning with the horrible possibilities. She feared that she would lose two of her best friends, both of whom she loved dearly, and neither of whom she could deceive.

***

Evening fell, and Hermione's secret still weighed heavily on her. Ginny repeatedly caught her eye, shooting her pleading looks. Hermione knew that it hurt her to keep secret what she had wanted for so long. At one point, Ginny had sat down beside her on the couch and instinctively placed her hand on top of Hermione's. She pulled away, but her pain at doing this was evident. "Please tell him." Ginny mouthed, her eyes shining. Harry, being absorbed in a catalogue of Quidditch equipment, saw none of this. Ron, however, noticed Ginny's hurt expression and was concerned.

"Gin, you okay?" he asked quietly.

Ginny blinked back tears and nodded, "Yeah, but I...I need to talk to you..._alone_." Her voice had become suddenly quite urgent. Ron sensed this and took her arm, urging her out of the room.

"Let's go, upstairs." he muttered, and Ginny obeyed followed, glancing back at Hermione, her expression pleading.

Hermione was alone with Harry for the first time that day, and she found herself feeling strangely ill. She knew that Ginny was telling Ron about the two of them, and that if she didn't tell Harry now, Ron would have to, out of loyalty to his friend. Hermione suspected that Ginny was trying to leave her with no choice but to tell Harry. She resented it, but understood nonetheless. Her stomach churned and her palms were sweating. Harry was now looking at her, but he still didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"I hope Ginny's okay. Have you noticed she's been acting strange?"

"A little," Hermione took a deep breath, "Harry, I'm glad we're alone now, because I want to..." she broke off, losing her nerve. Harry grinned mischievously, getting entirely the wrong idea. He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. She was surprisingly pacified by this, expecting to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He brushed the hair from the side of her face and began planting tiny kisses around her hairline. His lips found their way to hers and she began to succumb, the familiarity consoling her. At once she thought of Ginny and pushed Harry away, immensely guilty.

"Herm, what's wrong? Did I do something?" Harry said, sounding genuinely concerned. Hermione shook her head, afraid to speak, feeling the sobs catch in her throat. Harry tried to pull her towards him, but she resisted.

"Harry, I can't," she burst out, "we can't...I mean, something's changed and I...we can't...see each other..."

Harry's face fell, his mouth gaping in shock. "Why? What happened Hermione?"

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling, "I'm so-" 

"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry got no answer from Hermione, but her silence spoke volumes, "Hermione, you can't just...I mean, you have to tell me why...why now, why here, _why_?" Harry, realising he was becoming incoherent, stopped himself, breathing deeply in an attempt to regain control. 

"It's not your fault, Harry," Hermione said weakly, "I'm sorry. There was nothing you did or could have done-"

"That really doesn't help, you know," Harry pressed his clenched fists against his eyes, "Can you please just leave now?" he said sharply, "I need to be alone. I can't think while you're here."

Hermione bit her lip, abandoning her fight against tears, "Don't do this, Harry, please, I need to talk to you. I need you to listen to me, please..."

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little busy having my heart broken if you don't mind. I really can't deal with anything else right now."

"But...I..._please_..." Hermione was babbling, trying to get through to Harry, but he had already shut himself off from her. She was familiar with this behaviour. His jaw became tense, his face paled, and his usually bright green eyes were cold and devoid of any feeling. He had used the same defence many times since she had met him, usually in the face of great pain or fear. He would stare fixedly at a point beyond the cause of his pain and shut off his emotions completely. It frightened her. She had never seen him cry, even though he had more cause to than most. She knew that, for him to be using this defence on her, she must have caused him more grief than she had thought possible at first. She realised that it would be best to leave him alone now, for as he lost control of his temper, he equally lost control of his magical abilities, and he was known to cause rather horrible things to happen to the object of his anger.

Hermione stumbled from the room, now weeping freely. She climbed the stairs wearily and reluctantly, knowing that Ginny would be angry at her for not telling Harry the truth. She also knew that Harry hated her, and although his hate might fade over time, that they would never be friends again like they had been before. She ended up at Ginny's bedroom and entered without a second thought, expecting the room to be empty. She was surprised to find Ron and Ginny in there. The look on Ron's face told her that he now knew the truth, and therefore could guess what had just transpired between her and Harry. Ron held out a hand to her in a gesture of support, but she didn't accept it. She was ashamed of herself, and rather embarrassed to be seen in such a wretched state. She collapsed on the bed and buried her head in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She immediately felt Ginny's body press against her in a warm hug and her hands lovingly smoothed Hermione's hair. Ron, sensing his presence was superfluous, headed towards the door, stopping momentarily to pat Ginny's shoulder in a strained-but-distinctly-brotherly way, then exited quietly.

"What happened, Hermi?" Ginny murmured.

"He hates me..."

"Did you think he would take it well?" 

"I didn't have a chance to tell him why," Hermione gasped, "He wouldn't let me."

"So you broke it off and just left him with no explanation?"

"You didn't see him, Gin," Hermione turned onto her back, speaking with a sudden intensity, "It was killing him. I've never seen him so upset."

"Would it have been easier to be with both of us? Just keep lying to him?"

"No. But I never thought I could hurt him so badly. I mean, he's my friend. And I do love him, Ginny. Just not..."

"Not the same way you love me." Ginny couldn't hide the smile creeping onto her lips.

"No. Not like I love you, Ginny." Hermione smiled through her tears, much more weakly, but genuinely. Ginny lay next to her and rested her head next to Hermione's. They were nearly still, moving only occasionally to give each other soft kisses. Their chests rose and fell, Hermione's hitching occasionally from small sobs. Soon they fell asleep, holding each other, blissfully unaware that the bedroom door was ajar, and that they were being observed.

Harry watched them from the doorway. He had come up to apologise to Hermione for being short with her. He had wanted to let her explain, maybe even forgive her. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. If he was in pain when Hermione broke up with him, he was in absolute misery now. He felt as though he had swallowed something very sharp and rancid, only to have it yanked back up his throat, dragging his heart along with it. His body shook violently. He barely noticed the tears falling across his cheeks, but he was quite aware of the rage that was growing in his stomach. Unable to watch anymore, he slammed the door shut and stormed away. He paused at the top of the stairs to catch his breath. At some point his knees gave out and he sat heavily. His mind was spinning. _If this is what they want_, he thought,_ I can't change it, but they'd better not think for a second that I'm just going to just accept it._

*** 

A loud noise shook Ginny from sleep. She sat bolt upright and looked around, confused. Had the door slammed, or was it her imagination? She opened the door and peered outside. Harry was sitting on the top step, facing away from her. His face was in his hands. He was breathing shakily. As if he sensed Ginny's presence, Harry turned around and glared at her. She avoided his eyes and shut the door again. Behind her, she heard a sigh. Hermione was stirring. 

"What...Ginny, what was that?" she asked in a sleepy daze.

Ginny turned to face her, "Hermione, he knows."

A/N: thank you for reading this. Stay tuned for the third part, "turn". I would like to know how you think I should progress (I already have ideas, but your input always helps). And feel free to tell me anything you didn't like (or that you did) about the first two. This is only my second fic, criticism is always appreciated.

~Divy


	3. turn

A/N: Phew! First of all, I apologise profoundly for the delay in getting this last part out. I've been battling a severe case of writer's block, and this story had to be dragged from me kicking and screaming. But here it is, and I hope you like it. I hope it's not disappointing, but please Read and Review, and let me know if it is. Thanks to everyone who reviewed to the first two parts, and I am really open to advice, so be brutally honest when you review again.

Disclaimer: I own none of this (excepting plot); J.K. Rowling does

turn

In retrospect, Harry wondered why he had done it. He sat in the Great Hall at one extreme end of the Gryffindor table. Down near the other end, Hermione and Ginny sat together, laughing like old friends. But Harry knew that they were more than that. The comments he heard around him suggested that others knew as well. Lavender Brown tutted disapprovingly, "Look at them...no decency...it's disgusting..." Several sixth-year Gryffindor girls, Ginny's roommates, agreed. Harry stared sheepishly at his hands. _This is your doing_, scolded the voice in his head, _It's your own fault that you're alone_. Harry tried to ignore the voice, but he knew it was right. _But I was so angry_, he argued,_ I wasn't thinking clearly, I couldn't have been expected to_... His thoughts broke off as he caught sight of Ron. He waved automatically, and Ron nodded in acknowledgement. He then motioned towards Ginny and Hermione and shot Harry an apologetic glance. Harry sighed as Ron walked away and pulled up a chair next to Ginny. _I should have known better_, he thought, _Ron's so true to his family. I never stood a chance._ Harry remembered the night he found out. Even then, Ron had made it clear that his loyalty was to his sister first, to his friend second.

***

__

Back at the Burrow, five weeks earlier

Harry stormed up the stairs to the tiny bedroom he was sharing with Ron. He wrenched the door open, then slammed it closed, and kicked it wildly. Ron jumped out of his bed just as Harry kicked over a side table. Risking becoming Harry's next target, Ron approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry spun around furiously and glared at Ron. There was a moment where neither of them spoke. Harry stared into Ron's eyes, trying to read his expression. Was it pity, compassion, or perhaps guilt?

"You knew?" Harry could hardly believe it when Ron nodded his head, averting his eyes from his friend. "You _knew_!" He shouted, and Ron jumped, putting a finger to his own lips.

"Harry, please. You'll wake my mum."

"That's really the last thing on my mind right now," Harry said, but he did lower his voice, "How could you keep this from me? You're supposed to be my friend."

"You're my _best_ friend, Harry. And Ginny is my sister, and I could never betray her."

"But you could betray me, right? You knew that she and Hermione..."

"No," Ron interrupted, "I didn't know about that until today. It only started last night. It's not like she's been cheating on you all summer or anything."

"Oh, that's _terribly_ comforting, Ron." Harry's tone had changed. He was no longer incensed, but disheartened, "Why couldn't she have told me the truth?"

"Probably because she was afraid you'd act like a lunatic, running around slamming doors and kicking things." Ron smiled weakly at his last remark. To his relief, Harry smiled too, but only momentarily. He righted the side table apologetically and sat on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands.

Ron's expression became more serious, "Honestly, Harry, I'm glad I didn't know about Hermione until today, because if I told you about her, I would have betrayed Ginny's trust, and I'm not sure I could do that."

Harry started to speak, but was interrupted by a timid knock at the door.

"Harry? Ron? Can I come in?" Hermione's voice was barely above a whisper. Harry shook his head slowly, imploring Ron with his eyes not to open the door. Ron shrugged his shoulders and ignored Harry's silent plea.

"You've got to talk to her sooner or later," he whispered.

"Not if I can help it," Harry hissed. Ron reconsidered for a moment, then left Harry alone in the room and went out to talk to Hermione. When he led her in a moment later, Harry couldn't help notice, with some relief, that she looked just as miserable as he felt. 

"Harry, I-" Hermione started.

"Please don't say you're sorry again," Harry said through gritted teeth, "Apologies really don't cut it right now."

"Fine," Hermione clearly felt slighted, but hid it tactfully, "If you won't let me apologise, can I ask you a favour?"

Harry could hardly believe her gall, "A _favour_? You expect me to..." he trailed off, noticing Ron expression, which seemed to be urging him to give her a chance. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just don't tell anyone. Ginny and I would rather be...discreet about this, okay?" there was a pleading tone to her voice, "I can just imagine what kinds of rumours would be flying around Hogwarts. It would mean a lot to us if you'd promise not to say anything. I know that you're angry, but that's no reason to-"

"_Fine_." Harry hissed, rather eager to end the conversation in any way possible, "I won't tell about Ginny. I _promise_. Okay?" He felt his face flush with anger, and he shot Ron a warning glance, making it clear that he could not be held responsible for his actions if Hermione did not leave the room.

"Thank you," Hermione said, rather curtly, but genuinely grateful. She turned towards Ron, "Goodnight Ron," she said quietly as she left the room.

"'Night Hermione," Ron replied. He turned to Harry after she'd left, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked hopefully. Harry glared at Ron, lay down on his back on his bed, and pulled the covers over his head. "'Night Harry," Ron sighed.

Harry mumbled a reply, then grew silent, hoping Ron would believe he was asleep. In fact, despite the tiring events of the evening, it was nearly dawn when Harry finally felt himself begin to drift off. An angry heart, it seemed, did not allow for a restful sleep.

***

Three weeks later, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny boarded the Hogwarts Express, prepared to start their last (in Ginny's case, second-last) year of school. Harry had managed, up to this point, to keep conversation with Hermione to the barest minimum and to communicate with Ginny only when absolutely unavoidable. Simply looking at Hermione still caused Harry a significant degree of pain, and Ginny, quite frankly, made him uneasy. 

Harry found an empty compartment at the back of the train, while Ginny and Hermione had settled near the front. In an attempt to stay neutral, Ron would pass most of the trip to Hogwarts running between the two compartments, inevitably leaving Harry on his own more often than not. Harry took out his copy of _The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 7)_ and began reading. Having just settled in for a very dull train ride, he heard a knock on the compartment door. Figuring it was Ron, he invited the knocker in. He was surprised to see it was Neville Longbottom, his trunk and other various bags in disarray, a small lump (which Harry deduced was Trevor the Toad) attempting to wriggle it's way out of Neville's shirt pocket.

"Hullo Harry," said Neville, and then, despite the fact that Harry was obviously unaccompanied, he asked, "Are you alone? Do you mind if I come in? This seems to be the only compartment left."

"Sure Neville, sit." Harry said. He was planning on reading all the way to Hogwarts, so he wasn't too concerned about his company.

"So, how was your summer Harry?" Neville asked, arranging his bags under his seat, dropping several pairs of socks and losing Trevor in the process.

"Okay, I guess." Harry answered, indifferently, "Yours?"

Neville proceeded into a rather dull account of his trip to the seaside, but was interrupted by a voice from outside the door.

"Harry! Hello!" It was Lavender Brown, followed closely by Parvati Patil. Lavender, unlike Neville, noticed the conspicuous absence immediately. "Hey, where's Hermione?"

Harry felt himself flush. He hadn't expected to have to explain this so soon. "Well, we broke up." He said simply.

"Oh dear," Lavender sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry. What happened?"

He was tempted to rant to her about the whole situation, but remembered his promise to Hermione. Then, almost spontaneously, an idea had begun to form itself in Harry's mind. He remembered just how nosy Lavender could be. She didn't need to be told the whole story. She was quite adept at filling in the blanks. He decided it wouldn't be going against his promise to drop a few tidbits. He baited the hook. "She...well...she fell in love with someone else."

Lavender's mouth made a little 'o' of surprise. Parvati covered her mouth with her hands. Even Neville's eyes popped slightly, his jaw slackening.

"Oh Harry," said Parvati softly, her sympathy showing, "When?"

"Just a few weeks ago."

"Oh!" Parvati seated herself on Harry's other side and patted his arm comfortingly. They were nibbling at the bait. Harry waited, trying to look as forlorn as possible. Then they bit.

"Who is it?" Lavender asked, trying to appear offhand, but sounding extremely interested.

Harry reeled them in, "It's really not my place to say. I mean, I think it would be rather embarrassing for Hermione. I wouldn't want to humiliate her by spreading rumours." 

The girls now seemed quite intrigued, but they still tried to be subtle. 

"Will you be alright, Harry?" 

"I suppose I'll recover, in time." Harry sighed exaggeratedly. Parvati and Lavender each gave him a close embrace, then left the compartment, presumably to track down Hermione and harass her about the identity of her new suitor. Harry felt the slightest twinge of guilt, but didn't pay it much attention. _It's not my fault they're so meddlesome_, he thought. Harry turned back to his textbook, continuing to stew in the bitterness he had hidden from the girls. A Muggle saying his aunt often used (ironic as it was) came to mind. _You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar_. And Lavender and Parvati, sweet as they were, were two of the busiest flies at Hogwarts. They'd be buzzing around the train all day, and by the time they reached school, everyone would have their own version of Harry and Hermione's break up. 

A few moments later, Ron entered the compartment, looking perplexed. "Harry, were you just talking to Lavender Brown?"

"Yeah," Harry answered casually, "Why?"

"She just came up to me and said," Ron adopted a rather amusing falsetto, "'Are you going to see Harry? Good. He could use a friend right now.' What do you suppose she meant?" Ron eyed Harry suspiciously.

"I just told her about me and Hermione. I guess she feels sorry for me." Harry shrugged.

"What exactly did you tell her?" Ron asked, still wary.

"What do you mean?" Harry raised his eyebrows, then rolled his eyes, understanding, "Oh, _that_. No, I didn't tell her that."

"Good," Ron said, relieved, "Because I was just talking to them, and it's still really important to them that we keep this quiet. Who knows how people will react? And like it or not, she is still my best friend, just as you are. And Ginny's my sister, and if anything happened to her..."

A rather loud _ahem_ from behind Ron interrupted his rant. Ron spun around to see Neville sitting there, succeeding in looking even redder than Ron did. While Ron hadn't said anything outright, Harry and Ron both knew that even Neville could appreciate the implications of his speech.  
"Hermione and Ginny? Wow." Neville, possibly for the first time in his life, managed a wry grin. At Ron's troubled expression, Neville added, "Don't worry, I won't tell. It's not like anyone talks to me anyway."

***

It started as early as that evening. After all the formalities of the beginning of the new year, the Gryffindors headed up to their common room. Harry was fairly amused to see the inquisitive stares that seemed to follow Hermione everywhere she went. He caught the occasional murmur of curiosity, and even a few blunt questions aimed directly at Hermione. She deftly ignored most questions by burying her nose in a book, which was not at all out of her character. Ginny, Harry noticed, was now keeping her distance, so as not to encourage gossip, he assumed. For the first few days, Harry was quite smug. It was clear, whenever he saw Hermione, that she wasn't getting a moment's peace. 

One afternoon, in their second week, Harry caught a rather antagonistic conversation between Hermione and Lavender Brown at lunch. At first he eavesdropped subtly, but soon their voices had raised so high, Harry would have had to be deaf to ignore them.

"Would you just give it up already?" Hermione was saying, exasperated, "It is none of your concern..."

"Oh, come on, we're going to find out soon enough," Lavender said with remarkable boldness, "You can't hide this forever."

"You fancy yourself a real know-it-all, don't you Lav." Ginny spat. Ron, who was sitting between the two girls, shot Ginny a warning look. Hermione was apparently quite surprised at Ginny's cheek.

"Maybe there's no one at all," piped Parvati Patil, "Maybe she just want's the attention."

"You really think I want everyone snooping around in my business?"

"It'll be the whole school's business before long, Hermione. Nobody can keep their secrets for long."

Lavender's pompous tone finally got to Hermione. She got to her feet angrily, "Why you insufferable..." Her rant was interrupted by a familiar drawling voice.

"Ooh, cat fight. Mind if I watch?" Draco Malfoy leaned coolly against the Gryffindor table, his mouth twisted in a cruel grin. Harry suspected he had scented hostility and had come over to revel in it.

"Sod off, Malfoy!" Hermione snapped, startling even herself.

"Now that is a surprise," Lavender said, smirking, "He would have been _my_ number one pick."

Hermione let out a furious growl and pushed herself past Lavender, Parvati and Malfoy. "You need to relax, Granger." Malfoy snarled as she nearly knocked him over, heading out of the Great Hall. Hermione had been gone only a few moments when Harry saw Ginny follow after her, surreptitiously.

Harry had put the scene out of his mind and he finished his lunch. He headed up to the dormitory to pick up his books for his next class. When he entered the common room, he heard a vaguely familiar sound coming from the girl's dorm. He crept silently towards the door and listened. Hermione was crying, and Ginny was speaking in a low, soothing voice.

"I know it's hard Herm, but what are we supposed to do?"

"I just wonder if it's even worth it," Hermione choked, between sobs, "What is the point of being together if we can't _be together_?"

There was an awkward silence that followed this, then Hermione spoke again, "Gin, no. I didn't mean...you know I _want_ to be together..."

"_You_ are the one who wanted to be discreet. _You_ are the one who decided it would be easier if no one knew." Ginny's voice was scathing now.

"I know, Ginny, and I stand by that. If we tell, things are only going to get worse..."

"So you would rather just end it then? Rather than admitting that you're in love with me?" Ginny sounded close to tears.

"No," Hermione said quietly, "I love you. I'm not afraid to say it."

"You're just afraid to be overheard. Forget it, Hermione. If you want to live a lie, go ahead," Ginny sighed deeply, "I'll continue to live it with you, as long as you want. Just don't expect me to be happy, okay?"

"Okay," Hermione said weakly.

There was a short pause. Then, without warning, the door opened and Ginny exited, quite tense. Harry jumped back to avoid being seen, but to no avail. Ginny glared at him. He had never seen her eyes so full of contempt. He opened his mouth to speak but was distracted by a sudden and sharp pain in his leg. Ginny had kicked him in the shin.

"What the hell was that for?" Harry yelled as Ginny turned to walk away. She spun around and met his eyes again.

"Why did you do this?" she asked, "Does it make you feel good to know that Hermione is being constantly harassed by _everyone_?"

Harry suppressed a grin, "I don't know what you mean, Ginny. I didn't do anything."

"You told Lavender that Hermione would be embarrassed if rumours started about who she was dating."

"Exactly," Harry reasoned, in a rather unconvincing tone, "I was trying to protect Hermione. I didn't _tell _Lavender to spread rumours. I can't be held accountable for her actions."

Ginny shook her head in disbelief, "You are so _petty_. You just can't stand the fact that we could be happy. What kind of satisfaction do you get from making us miserable?"

"It's wrong, Ginny." Harry said simply. He was surprised to hear himself say this. He wasn't even sure he believed it, but somehow he knew it would get a rise out of her, and at the moment that was much more important to him than being correct.

Ginny's expression was full of loathing. "It's not," she choked, "I love her, and she loves me."

"That's another thing," Harry started, his voice rising, "Isn't it interesting how one day she's in love with me, and the next she's in love with you. Doesn't that seem a little _easy_? Maybe she was wrong. Maybe that's why she doesn't want anyone to know, " Harry was recalling bits of the fight between the girls, "Maybe she doesn't want to tell anyone because she really doesn't love you at all." Harry knew it was a low blow, and he didn't care. He also didn't care that the portrait of the Fat Lady was beginning to swing open behind him, "You and Hermione may be together now, but trust me, that doesn't mean she loves you. She broke my heart. She'll break yours too."

Ginny looked horror stricken. Harry thought at first that it was his words that had caused this, but she was looking, not at him, but past him. Several Gryffindors, most notably Lavender Brown, were standing in the doorway and gawking. Ginny's face became flushed with anger and humiliation, and tears sprang to her eyes.

"What's wrong Ginny?" Harry asked in a vaguely contemptuous voice, "Now everyone knows. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Ginny bolted from the room crying. Harry hadn't noticed that Hermione had emerged from the girls' dorm and had witnessed the quarrel until he felt her push past him and saw her run after Ginny. Several people stared after them, a variety of expressions on their faces, ranging from sympathy (Neville) to disgust (Lavender). Harry fought against the ball of remorse twisting in his stomach. _I didn't do it on purpose_, he told himself, and was quite startled to find that even he didn't believe it.

***

Harry hadn't expected to feel so guilty. He had expected to feel angry, but he hadn't thought that so much of his anger would be directed at himself. 

He couldn't stop noticing how, no matter what anyone said, Hermione and Ginny were still hugging in the hallways. He noticed how they looked at each other, the way they held hands on top of the table, and laughed with genuine enthusiasm at each other's comments. But Harry wasn't angry with Hermione and Ginny because they seemed happy. He was angry with Hermione and Ginny because they _were_ happy, _despite_ the stares and the snide comments. After a while, they hardly seemed to notice.

Harry wasn't sure what he'd been trying to achieve. Some part of him, he realised, had thought that he could cultivate his own happiness by hindering theirs.

And then it hit him: he had absolutely no power over how they felt because he no longer mattered in their lives. They didn't need a friend who didn't support them, who's only goal in the past month had been to upset them. He couldn't _make_ them unhappy. 

He exited the Great hall as he had entered, alone. He left his breakfast untouched, a bitter taste rising in his throat and ruining his appetite. He had succeeded in bringing about more unhappiness than he had intended, but Hermione and Ginny were unaffected. Harry now had to endure a misery he himself had created. Alone.

A/N: Thanks again for reading. Please let me know what you think, it makes such a huge difference.

~Divy


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